How to train a human

So here's the deal. I am a major horse person. Specifically western horses. When my friend and I were little, we would pretend that we were rescuing horses from the evil English-riding people. We pretended that they used whips that were embedded with pieces of metal. Of course, now I know that is completely and utterly incorrect. While there are some people in the English riding industry that I dislike, I know that they are not all evil and torture their animals. And there are some Western riding people who are like that.

Any way, the point I am getting to is this story might be a bit against English riding people. (Remember small me had a very vivid imagination, that was very incorrect about most things). The only reason I decided to post this to honor where I have been. Hopefully, I have improved in writing since this was created.

Also, somethings may not be accurate because this was written when my horse experience was very limited.

So.... please...

Read, Enjoy, and Comment!!!

Darkness, followed by more darkness ever since the tall lady in tight leggings and her very suspicious whip came to examine me, I had been locked in this bouncy, loud machine. When she examined me she often said things like “Beautiful stallion, but he’ll need some work on his teeth and his bathing.” and “He smells like a horse!” My poor sweet owner could barely contain her laughter, it came out in hiccups instead.

I sigh, remembering my old owner as she took me on long trail rides or as she trustfully put young riders on my back for me and her to train together. It only happened recently that she had to close the farm due to something humans go nuts over, they call it money. I call it a bunch of useless green things that stood between me and my true owner.

Finally, the black box stopped bouncing and silence filled the air like oats does a trough. Mm……. oooooaaaaatssss. I could almost taste the delicious yet simple grain that will bring horses to their knees begging for the stuff. Oh what I wouldn’t give for oats right now…….

BAM!!!!!! Light streamed in, nearly blinding me.

The tall lady grabbed my halter yanking me towards the light.

“C’mon, horse,” she said the word “horse” like it was the worse insult in the world.

“Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!” I screamed, bucking and kicking, “I don’t want to die!!!” “I won’t go into the light with Whip Lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Whip Lady as I decide to dub her, took her trademark whip and slapped it down on my muzzle. Hard. It stung worst then a biting fly (and that’s saying a lot). I reared again refusing to let Whip Lady win.

She hit me again and slammed my muzzle against the hard ground. I looked in front of me, the light was less blinding now and seemed like better idea than hanging out with Whip Lady. On my way out I gave Whip Lady a good kick.

“Haha,” I laughed at her as I exited the strange box. She turned to looked at me clenched in pain, even though it wasn’t that hard of a kick, murder in her eyes.